SWAT 4 : DS for DUMB SQUAD

Qui veut faire partie d'une parodie hilarante du fameux jeu SWAT 4 pour PC où je m'amserai à vous faire les pires conneries qu'un SWAT puisse faire dans sa carrière?

Envoyé moi par MESSAGE PRIVÉ toutes les informations à savoir sur votre perso :

- Nickname (Player name)
- Arme primaire
- Arme secondaire
- Armure corps
- Armure tête
- Team (RED or BLUE)
- Genre (Fonce dans l'tas, gaffeux, TKer, RAMBO...)

et je vous ajouterai aux différentes parties que le groupe fera.

(EXEMPLE D'ÉQUIPEMENTS)
Arme primaire :

- M4A1 Carbine (5.56mm x 30 x 3)
- AK-47 (7.62mm x 30 x 3)
- Benelli M1 (12 gu x 8 x 4)
- Benelli M1 (Bean bag x 8 x 4)
- MP5 (9x19mm x 30 x 3)
- MP5SD (9x19mm x 30 x 3)
- SPAS 12 (12 gu x 6 x 4)
- Tech-9 (9x19mm x 30 x 3)
- Elite Scoped SD (7.62mm x 20 x 2)
- Pepperball Gun (Paintball Gun pepperspray stuffed balls x 200 x 1)

Arme secondaire :

- Tazer (Single Tazer x 10)
- Phaz Tazer (Double Tazer x 4)
- M1911 (Colt .45 ACP x 7 x 3)
- Python (Colt .357 magnum x 6 x 3)
- Glock 11 (Glock 9x19mm x 12 x 3)
- Grenade Launcher (40mm FLASH/PEPPERSPRAY/SMOKE/BEAN POUCH x 3)

Armure corps :

- Heavy Armor (Slowest, High ENDURANCE, medium chances of absorbing bullets)
- Light Armor (Slower, Medium ENDURANCE, low chances of absorbing bullets)
- No Armor (Quick, No ENDURANCE, no chances of absorbing bullets)

Armure tête :

- Helmet (Protect against FLASHBANG and offer Medium ENDURANCE)
- Gaz Mask (Protect against TEARGAS and offer No ENDURANCE)

Genre :

- Fonce dans le tas : En premier rang, peu importe le danger. Ne craint pas de mourir.
- Gaffeux : Tire sur les alliés et les otages accidentèlement à fréquence régulière. Mauvais shooter.
- TKer : Ne se soucit pas de tirer/tuer un allié. Le but premier est de tué.
- RAMBO : Tire tout ce qui bouge. À éviter comme la peste, comme Fadsi par exemple...

AHAH!!!

dans le même style que tu fesais avec tes amis et que tu envoyais par e-mail?
J'embarque1 Very Happy

moi j'ajouterai ses genres la
Genre :

Fady : tire, ouvre la porte, tire, regarde qui qué la ... ou c'étais un teamate ... pas grave
Richard : "GET DOWN!", ouvre la porte, "GET DOWN!", regarde par la porte,"GET DOWN!", regarde sil y a quelqu'un,""GET DOWN!" meme sil y a personne Razz

lollll en effet je crois que pour le genre de la personne, on peut le faire custom non? en autant que sa soit bien décrit

Une DEMO de ce que ça aura l'air, pour en intéresser plus d'un...

In the last episode of "SWAT 4" (But not really...)

-----------------------------------------

- Rick Heroically sacrificed himself to protect his team from being attacked by a suspect. After taking a shot, Frank draw his magnificient Colt Python .357 caliber and shot one single bullet in the eye of the enemy, neutralising him immediatly. (YEAH! That's real Heroic Action!! Thanks Frank!!! BackStabber...)

- Shorter after their entrance, the police neutralised some suspects and gently escorted hostages out of the flower lab. (Huh, truly, titan219 used brutal force on an innocent woman to cuff her hands in a drug lab but who cares?)

- Our real deal JackDaniel decided to negociate with a suspect to lay on the floor but an other shot him in the back, resulting into a severe wound. Than, Goldie neutralised a suspect. Unfortunately, this suspect hold the trigger on his weapon and it resulted in a friendly fire, shooting an other suspect AND a gas valve, making a big explosion, engulfing Goldie in it. Thanks to the helmet and armor, he was saved from the worst. (Actually, he committed suicide by shooting the valve himself.)

- Loosing control of himself, TheRoux went into a Frenzy state and wasted all of his ammos on a poster, thinking it was a delirious bunny hopping on a big grass field. Frank calmed him by giving the poor guy some valium. (Here again, Frank betrayed TheRoux who was almost dead thanks to the valve Goldie blown.)

- Later during the mission, Frank commited an error and let a suspect activate a bomb, blowing an other valve. (Right... Frank blow this one up himself and commited suicide. That's all, no big deal.)

- Few minutes after the incident, the team found a suspect plant composed of 7 green leaves with soem kind of nuts into it. Before they could report their found, some elite from the enemy forces neutralised and arrested Pepsiman and burn, making'em prisonners, but thanks to Marss' super heavy duty special ops training, he arrested the elite soldier and freed his pals. (burn and Pepsiman were both killed like newbs, really, and Marss just took off the suspect's balls with a shotgun... and he smoked a blunt on his way.)

- Wolf, being promoted to team leader but quite unexperienced, took a shot in the neck and fell into a coma. Marss shot back the suspect and pulled Wolf out of the lab to safety. (Marss just got promoted and let Wolf drown in his blood.)

Mission over, all the team went to a bar to take a cold beer and watch women dance!

-----------------------------------------

And now, today's fourth episode of SWAT 4 is based on a gang war, SWAT vs TERROS into a subway tunnel. (Notice that blue text and red text and only seen by the respective team... Green text still represent communication from TOC to SWAT and orange represent HCK to TERROS. White text is normal speech, seen by both team.)

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Connecting to server......
Connected to server.
Loading server setup......
Loaded.
Frank connected to server, joining SWAT force.
Goldie connected to server, joining SWAT force.
burn connecting to server.
Frank changed to TERROS force.
TheRoux changed to TERROS force.
Goldie changed to TERROS force.
burn connected to server, joining SWAT force.
Rick gained Administrative rights.
TheRoux : Si quelqu'un fait chier de chaque côté des équipes, ya un admin qui va se charger de vous ramener sur le droit chemin...
Pepsiman connecting to server.
Marss connecting to server.
JackDaniel : jveux un gros gun aussi
burn : change déquipe.
JackDaniel changed to TERROS force.
Squirrel connecting to server.
Pepsiman connected to server, joining SWAT force.
Squirrel connected to server, joining SWAT force.
Rick : c ki lui?
Squirrel : Waaaaaaaaaaah! Killing time!
TheRoux : Ti-Seb Marien, celui qui va nous montré comment coulé en sécurité session prochaine.
Rick : lolll
Goldie : lolll
Frank : haha
burn : hahaha
Squirrel : On peut tu faire du friendly fire?
TheRoux : ouep mais yé admin
Rick : jsuis admin fak essaye toi meme pas
Squirrel : D'OH!
Rick : Hey pas supose avoir maximum 10 joueurs dans la salle?
Goldie : le roux a hacker ljeu tu c bin
Frank : lol
TheRoux : Trop vrai... lol s'en fou! Plus de fun!
Infinity_ : Ça commence bientôt?
titan219 : On veut tuer!
Wolf : Wolf power.
TheRoux : Bah wolf pawa de ton bord, m'a wolf pawé du miens...
Current Team Status.
Blue Team Members (SWAT force) :
- Rick 34
- burn 34
- Pepsiman 41
- Marss 36
- Wolf 43
- Squirrel 28
Red Team Members (TERROS force) :
- TheRoux 0
- Goldie 26
- Infinity_ 8
- Frank 32
- titan219 36
- JackDaniel 31

-----------------------------------------------------------------

TOC : TOC to Enter Team. The subway is full of suspects and they established a campment into the sewers in secound basement south hall. Neutralise any suspect until reinforcement arrives. Weapon's free. Over
HCK : Hacker to Tangos, I gained access to the cameras in the subway. Many SWATs officers are on their way here. Protect the subway by any means. The boss will send backup units later. We must hold until then.
Squirrel : Let's KILL!!!
Frank betrayed TheRoux with his Colt M4A1.
TOC : Enter Team, this is TOC. They appear to kill each others. Be extra-cautious.
TheRoux : calice frank!
Frank : tu t crisser dvans moi!
Goldie : lolll
Rick : loll wtf?
TheRoux : YA PAS UN CHAT AU SPAWN POINT!!!
HCK : Reinforcement for you guys...
TOC : TOC to ET. The enemy received reinforcement. Watch out.
TheRoux : Pas de conneries la.
JackDaniel : huh comment on fait du team chat?
TheRoux : Avec T, Team chat. Avec Y, Yelling chat (tlm peut lire).
JackDaniel : tkx
JackDaniel : On camp?
Rick : pas de camping c gay
JackDaniel : cmon jai un heavygun
Rick : fati a ta tete mais backstab pas
Infinity_ : dans les fenetres en haut, surveillez kk1
titan219 : jte suis
TheRoux : Frank tu snipe, camp a droite des rails.
Squirrel was shot by Infinity_.
Intinity_ : y rush!
Squirrel : merde lol
Frank : en haut aussi, c plein!
Pepsiman was shot by JackDaniel.
burn was shot by JackDaniel.
JackDaniel was shot by Rick.
Frank was shot by Rick.
TOC : TOC to ET, reinforcement arrived.
HCK : Watch out guys, the SWAT have reinforcement.
Rick was shot by titan219.
Wolf was shot by Infinity_.
titan219 was shot by Rick.
Rick : loll lag
titan219 : yé mort osti!
Pepsiman : lol
burn : haha
Frank : calice que ca vise mal le sniper
Frank was shot by Wolf.
Wolf : Arwouuuuuuuuu!
Wolf was shot TheRoux.
HCK : We have some reinforcement guys.
TOC : Reinforcement arrived in enemy camp.
TOC : TOC to ET, reinforcement are dispatched.
HCK : SWAT received backup units. Careful.
burn : frank y camp.
Rick : je lsais
JackDaniel was shot by Squirrel.
Infinity_ was shot by Squirrel.
Intinify_ : fuck
Squirrel : chacun notre tour! lol
titan219 : jtattend
TheRoux : c pas pire comme match. c même mieux que les missions j'trouve.
Wolf : Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Frank was shot by Wolf.
Wolf was shot by Frank.

...

(Le match continu comme ça encore 12 minutes pis à la fin, voilà les scores!)

Team Scores.
Blue Team Members (SWAT force) 46 :
- Rick 8
- burn 7
- Pepsiman 3
- Marss 11
- Wolf 5
- Squirrel 12
Red Team Members (TERROS force) 50 :
- TheRoux 6
- Goldie 7
- Infinity_ 7
- Frank 8
- titan219 8
- JackDaniel 14

TheRoux : Next?
Rick : yo, un autre VS mais cette fois-ci dans l'hotel
burn : c grand en calvasse.
Rick : sen fou
Infinity_ : on peut tu avoir des IAs aussi?
TheRoux : non, pas encore hacker le jeu pour ça lol
Goldie : lol
Frank : Go! Hotel!
JackDaniel : yep.
Marss : j'adore le shotgun bebe!
burn : apres ça, une mission dans l'hopital. est dur
Rick : ouais, bon bois bien dur.!

ACTUAL TEAM FOR SWAT 4 : DS FOR DUMB SQUAD (Updated last for : Febuary, 5th of 2008, 1727 Hour)

BLUE TEAM
- Leader Captain -> Emman31 : CANADA, Rifleman (M4A1 / Cobra Tazer Gun)
- Lieutenant -> Dracir : CANADA, Sniper (Accurized Rifle / Cobra Tazer Gun)
- Sergeant -> J-P : CANADA, Rifleman (Less Than Lethal Shotgun / Colt Python)
- Lieutenant -> Red : USA, Fast Deployment (SMG 9mm Silenced / Colt 1911)
- Corporal -> Fadi : IRAK, Rifleman (AK47 / Desert Eagle)

MISSION 01 : We are the "Dumb Squad!"

Briefing : Has the team enter their first real situation mission, the TOC explained the situation to the members. Not far from Nevada, in a city bank, a group of small thugs decided to raid a bank for bills and jewelry in the vault. They are apparently well armed but not very experienced with guns has they have already shot several rounds on the security team in the bank. It is only a matter of time before the officers are down and killed or taken hostages. The DS is suposed to enter the building via 2 entrances :
- Main door
- Ventilation shafts
The SWAT has established contact with the terrorists inside the building, trying to know how many hostages and terrorists there was inside so they could know the situation and try to figure a "way out" like the thugs are demanding. Apparently, there is 7 hostages, including the director of the bank, a politician and a young baby. The thugs are threatening to execute the young baby if there was any kind of attempt to stop them from doing their job. TOC replyied that anything would go perfectly all right in order that they at least surrender the child and it's mother. Now, the team is moving on.

Loading server settings...Server settings loaded.
Connecting to server...
Connection established.
Server host : Emman31

Red is connecting to server.
Dracir is connecting to server.
J-P is connecting to server.
Red connected to server.
J-P connected to server.
Fady connecting to server.
Dracir connected to server.
Fady connected to server.
Dracir start Leader vote : Dracir

Vote option locked in server, vote terminated.Dracir : Ah, Emman t'es poche.

Dracir : Même pas droit de kicker Fady si y fait du TKing...
Fady : YES!
Red : shit.
J-P : lolz yes!
Emman31 : on niaise pas avec les votes, sérieux.
Dracir : Ok.
Red : tlm prend la cam de Emman, lui choisira quel cam il va prendre.
Emman31 : hehe. c'est moi qui donne les ordres.
Red : rien oblige à les suivre
Dracir : Moi j'suis solo
J-P : Fady, tire moi pas dans l'dos comme d'habitude là.
Fady : AK-47, yeah!
Emman31 : On les dégomme ou les arrête?
Red : on verra celon notre gâchette pis si Fady rush pas trop.
Fady : KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLL!!1

Game starting in 5 seconds...

TOC : TOC to Enter Team. The terrorists are actually talking to the phone, negociating the surrending of the baby and the mother. Do not engage them at any rate.Emman31 : Qui prend lbébé?

Red : M'a l'faire.
Fady : jvais tous les tuer!
Emman31 : Rush pas l'gros, au moins le temps d'avoir l'enfant pis la mère.
Emman31 : Stack up.Red : Roger.
Dracir : I'll cover you.
J-P : I'll cover you.
Fady : wtf vous parlez comment?

Red : right-click pis la roulette
Red : ALT pour changer le mode
Roger.Fady : Cover me!
Fady : Tango!
Fady : Tango!
Fady : Enemy spotted!
J-P : Fallait peut-être pas lui faire savoir... lolz

Fady : Cover me!Fady : Roger.
Fady : lol

Dracir : loll
Emman31 : tention y viennent.
Thug : We won't surrender the mother AND the baby, so back-off.Fady neutralized a thug.Fady neutralized a thug.
J-P neutralized a thug.
Fady is down.
Thug Leader : They engaged us! Fire at will!Emman31 : WTF!?!

Dracir : Police! Get down!Dracir : On your knees, now!
Red : calice

Fady : fuck
Red : Enter Team to TOC. Officer downed and need immediate evac. Over.TOC : Understood, medivac is on it's way.
Red : Enter Team to TOC. Enemy down.
Red : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect neutralized.
J-P : TOC, this is Enter Team. Suspect wounded, need medical attention. Over.
Thug : They're here!TOC : Copy that, medivac on it's way. Proceed.Emman31 neutralized a thug.Red : Police! Freeze!Dracir : Drop your weapon!
Thug : Ok! I give up!Thug : Fuck you!
Thug : Die, cop!
Red neutralized a thug.Dracir neutralized a thug.
Emman31 neutralized a thug.
Red is down.
Dracir neutralized a thug.
Red : tbarnak!

Fady : loll
J-P : fuck
Dracir : TOC, this is Enter Team. Suspect neutralised.Dracir : Enter Team to TOC. Suspects neutralized.
Dracir : Enter Team to TOC. Officer down, need medical attention. Over.
Emman31 : Freeze!
Emman31 : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect wounded, need medical attention. Over.
Emman31 : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect eliminated.
TOC : Copy that.
J-P : On your knees!
J-P : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect neutralized.
TOC : Roger.
J-P : Freeze? wtf?

Red : report un corps déjà reporté, ça fait comme si y'avait personne
Emman31 : wtf!?!
Emman31 : Ah ok.
Dracir : lol
J-P : lolz
Lady : Help us!Dracir : Police! Get down!
Director : Over here!
Emman31 : doucement

Dracir : ouin...
J-P : yep
Red : 2 à gauche en entrant, 30 pieds. 1 au fon dà droit, 2e étage, 70 pieds.
Dracir : Flash ready.Emman31 : Go! Go! Go!
Dracir : Police! Freeze!
Emman31 : On your knees, now!
J-P : Police! Get down!
Dracir : Get down!
J-P : Drop your weapon!
J-P is down.Dracir neutralized a thug.
Emman31 neutralized a thug.
Dracir neutralized the thug leader.
Dracir : TOC, this is Enter Team. Suspect neutralized.

Dracir : Freeze!
Emman31 : Enter Team to TOC. Officer down and need immediate evac. Over.
Emman31 : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect eliminated.
Dracir : Enter Team to TOC. Suspect neutralized.
TOC : Copy that. Proceed.
Dracir : Quoi, la mission est pas fini?

Red : faut prendre toutes les armes et sécuriser les otages
J-P : fuck! lolz
Dracir : damned ca va être fucking trop long

*... quelques minutes interminables plus tard ...*

Emman31 : y manque un gun merde
Dracir : fuck
Red : 2e étage, le leader! lol
Dracir : fuck, c encore a lautr bout du monde
J-P : lolz
Fady : pas eu assez de kill pour moi.
Emman31 : Fady, ta yeule. t'es l'premier a avoir tiré su rle monde pi t mort! ta eu 3 kills.
Fady : pas assez
Red : Non, pas de killing spree! lol
Dracir : lol
J-P : lolz
Fady : lol
Emman31 : lol
Dracir : tin, le vla losti dgun!
TOC : TOC to Enter Team. Hostages secured, suspects neutralized and mission over. Extract.

Game results :
Officers OK : 1 (10)
Officers wounded : 1 (-3)
Officers down : 3 (-15)
Officers unreported : 0 (0)
Suspects arrested : 0 (0)
Suspects wounded : 2 (-4)
Suspects down : 9 (-27)
Suspects unreported : 0 (0)
Hostages secured : 7 (35)
Hostages wounded : 0 (0)
Hostages down : 0 (0)
Hostages unreported : 0 (0)
Weapons secured : 11 (33)
Weapons unsecured : 0 (0)

Mission score : 29/100

wowow 29% on se surpasse Very Happy

BLUE TEAM STATUS
- Leader Captain : Emman31, Canada, Sharpshooter (M4A1 Carbine - Cobra Tazer - Flash - Stun - Stun - Pepperspray - Doorwedge)
- 2nd Lieutenant : Dracir, Canada, Sharpshooter (Elite Scoped SD - Cobra Tazer - Flash - Stun - Stun - Wirewand - Ammo Pouch)
- Sergeant : Fady, Iran, Support (AK-47 - Desert Eagle - Stun - Stun - Stun - Stun - Ammo Pouch)

RED TEAM STATUS
- Leader 2nd Lieutenant : Red, Canada, Recon (MP5SD - Colt 1911 - Flash - Flash - Flash - Stun - Stun)
- Staff Sergeant : J-P, Canada, Sharpshooter (G36C - Cobra Tazer - Flash - Stun - Stun - Wirewand - Doorwedge)

SERVICE REPORT (OK/WOUNDED/DOWN) {Note : DOWN isn't DEAD, it's SERVERLY WOUNDED}

Emman31 : 0/1/0
Dracir : 1/0/0
J-P : 0/0/1
Red : 0/0/1
Fady : 0/0/1
__________

INCOMING MISSION : MISSION 02 - As if being hurt wasn't bad enough...

LOCATION : Detroit, Night club.
POPULATION RATIO : 200-250.
TERRORISTS RATIO : 15-35.
HOSTAGES ESTIMATION : 10-20.
WOUNDED ESTIMATION : 5-25.
BOMBS ON SITE : None declared so far...
WEAPONRY TYPE : Low firepower, mainly semi-auto pistols and SMGs such as Tech-9.
SITUATION : Club brawl, someone picked up a fight with the DJ and decided to use force, shooting the poor working man. Many civilians escaped during the rispost of some officers off duty, but the shooter had more than a few friends equiped with weapons as well...

Prochainement disponible en téléchargement sur internet (Si possible sur RapidShare, le fichier devient GROS... lol) :

SWAT Z : A BITTER BATTLE